Amazing relationships that are very healthy do not react or make decisions based on emotions. Emotions are unpredictable. Even though emotions are real, they can be very deceptive and wrong. Yes, we are emotional beings but we should not be controlled by our emotions.
After many years of riding an emotional roller coaster- we set up keys that helped stop the cycle. We made a decision to let the Word of God dictate our life and not our emotions.
Here are some facts- Did you know 86% of divorces are the result of what researchers call “non-severe circumstances”? These are circumstances like money, kids, sex, emotional issues, and a breakdown in communication. That means the relationship-ending circumstances were not related to problems like abuse, abandonment or adultery. I call the three A’s. Most relationships are lost over emotional choices. Things that happen in the heat of the moment.
We decided that the D word (divorce) was not allowed in our home to threaten each other. It could not be used as a tool to manipulate and control the other person. It cannot be part of your language.
We began investing in each other and not threatening each other. And when we could not find a compromise or solution we would seek Godly counsel. We learned to get help. This is one of the wisest decisions we ever made and we still get help when we need it!
We made a choice to seek the Lord together through prayer, Bible study, worship, iron friends, and fasting.
We celebrate each other. Learning to cheer for each other instead of criticizing. This makes for a much better partnership.
We learned to have heart to heart conversations instead of hurt to hurt.
Even during times of frustration or difficulty, never let your heart be turned away from each other.
We chose friends that would encourage us to do the right thing, even during hard times. We stayed connected to our faith family, church.
Remember apart from your relationship with God, your marriage is the most important relationship in your life. The shocking truth is your marriage is more important than your children, your job, your personal interests or your hobbies. Choose to invest in meeting each other’s needs, and refuse to sacrifice your marriage for emotions.
You have to base it on God’s Love- 1 Corinthians 13! His Love never fails! We will base our marriage on Christ-like love. Your marriage should be sacrificial and permanent. Marriage is a covenant designed by God. That means your marriage is based on the decision to love and cherish each other and not on feelings, convenience or comfort- “for better or worse- in sickness and health- til death do us part”! Create a covenant marriage that can weather the storms of emotions, disagreements, and difficulties. You will not regret choosing Love!
Allison Bramlett 