Did you know that what we say only accounts for 7 percent of what is really believed? The way we communicate it accounts for about 38 percent (tone and timing). That means that 55 percent is based on what others see. That means the statement is true, “actions speak louder than words”. This means that 90 percent of what we actually say is not conveyed. So how do we truly communicate and have real connection. This is something that I am constantly working on.
I know connecting helps in every area of life! True communication is genuine connection. Here are some keys to connecting: •go the extra mile- be intentional •exchange appreciation with expectation •be vulnerable•share enjoyable experiences that refresh •give energy that recharges- positive partners•set vision and synergy•be love-unconditional. When connecting if you see some of these keys then you are on the path to success.
In real connection people know that you care for them. Really stop and think of experiences you have had in your own life with connection. Do you see a common thread? I would bet that you felt cared for by the person or people in those moments. What is so beautiful about this is we have the ability to grow beyond our personal circles and care for others. When we learn to truly care about others we can then connect with them.
People want to be encouraged and helped. When we learn to help others we truly help ourselves. This is real connection. It is wonderful to know that when we help others go to new levels, they lift us up too. I challenge you to look for people to help today. Recently I was in the grocery store and had two buggies full of groceries. I was thinking how am I going to get this to the car. Then two young men from our youth group at church appeared and helped me out. I was so thankful. As I began to put my purse in the car I saw some cash. This alone was a miracle because I rarely have cash on me. I felt prompted by Holy Spirit to give it to them. I am believing that from this experience they will see the benefit of focusing on helping others.
When someone really connects they know that they can be vulnerable. They know that they are unconditionally loved. Real connection is full of trust! The other person feels seen and valued. Listening with your heart to hear their heart.
In my own life there are times that I have felt that I really connected and other times where I have really failed. In both, my heart was for others to experience the love of God. I am thankful that we are all growing and learning together. And I hope to continually grow as a connector. Remember your words may be heard but your attitude is always felt. Philippians 2:5 says, “Let this same attitude and purpose and humble mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus.” I am working to have the attitude of Jesus all the time.
It takes energy and intentionality to connect and have the right attitude. You have to bring it every time to have real connection. This means jump first- (smile first, make eye contact, speak kindly, take a step toward others and not away….) Malcom Bane says, “if you wait until you can do everything for everybody, instead of something for somebody, you’ll end up not doing anything for anybody.” So, if you want to have connection then go first!
It all takes selflessness. GIVE REAL CONNECTION! This is not always easy in hard situations, but it is possible. It is a choice to be a giver and not a taker. When you are a giver then you are a grower. Giving brings life. Takers communicate out of need, insecurity and ego. They are always needing attention and praise. Givers communicate out of love, compassion, passion and overflow. We have the choice to be either. I declare today that you are a giver!
These are questions I constantly ask myself: Did I do my best in that situation? Did I understand and relate? Did I add value to the other person? Did I give hope and faith? Did I help them know that they are loved? Did I make a difference for eternity? Did I Give?
Let me know how your Connection Giving is going. I believe we are growing together in Connection!
Allison Bramlett 