Leading Well, Loving Well

Finding Balance Between Leadership and Family

As leaders, we pour ourselves into serving others by casting vision, building teams, solving problems, and pouring out encouragement day after day. But sometimes, if we are not careful, the very people we love the most can end up getting what’s left of us instead of the best of us.

I have learned through years of ministry and leadership that success in one area should never come at the expense of the other. Leadership and family are not meant to compete, they are meant to complement one another. When your home is healthy, your leadership is stronger. When your heart is anchored in love, your influence carries more weight.

Before I ever preached a sermon, led a team, or hosted a conference, I was a wife and a mom. My first leadership role was managing a home filled with love, laughter, and chaos. Proverbs 31 reminds us that a strong woman “watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Leadership starts in how we love, forgive, and serve those right in front of us.

When I lead my family with grace, presence, and prayer, then I can lead others better. I have learned to never let ministry or leadership pull me so far that I forget to simply sit at the dinner table, listen to stories from my grandkids, or laugh with Jeff in the car or on the couch. 

There was a season when I was saying yes to every event, every request, every person because I thought that is what strong leaders do. I had to learn that boundaries are not barriers. They are blessings that grow you. Healthy leaders know when to step away from the platform and lean into the people who make life meaningful. True leadership does not mean doing everything; it means doing the right things with the right priorities.

One of the best leadership lessons I have ever learned is simple. It is to be present where your feet are. When I am at church, I lead with full focus and heart. But when I am home, I am home. Not half-scrolling, half-listening but really present. Our families do not need our perfection; they need our presence.

If you are constantly thinking about the next meeting, sermon, or strategy while your child is telling you about their day, you are missing the moments that matter most. Presence creates peace both in your home and in your heart.

I have always been a vulnerable leader that is one that shows weakness and full dependency on Jesus. But real leadership is not about perfection it is about authenticity. I have walked through hard seasons in my marriage, my parenting, and my own emotions. Learning to share those lessons honestly has helped others find healing too. The truth is, vulnerability builds trust. When people see that your faith works in the messy middle of life not just in the highlights. They see Jesus more clearly through you.

Balance is not a formula, it is a flow that comes from walking closely with Holy Spirit. When Jesus is at the center of your leadership and your family, everything else aligns.

Matthew 6:33 reminds us, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” The “things” include peace, wisdom, strength, and even the ability to lead with love at work and at home.

You can lead with excellence and love your family deeply. You can carry vision and carry your grandkids around too. You can be strong in leadership and tender in heart. The balance is not about doing it all, it is about doing what matters most, with Jesus guiding every step. So today, take a deep breath. Look around your home. Hug your spouse. Call your kids. Laugh with your team. Leadership and family are both sacred callings and when you lead with love, both can thrive together.

Learn to make fun of yourselves….

Choose To Set Your Mind

When you became a Christ lover and believer, everything changed. Even if your feelings and thoughts did not catch up immediately. Paul reminds us in Colossians 3, “Since you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is.”

That single statement carries the power to reframe your entire life. You are no longer bound by the world’s old patterns, priorities, and thought systems. You have been resurrected into a new way of living and with that comes a new way of thinking.

A Call to Intention

Paul gives two clear commands. We must set our hearts and set our minds on things above. These are not passive statements. The word set implies discipline, direction, and decision. Just as a thermostat does not change the temperature until someone sets it, your thoughts won’t drift toward heaven by accident.

You have to decide what fills your mind. Romans 12:2 tells us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This is an ongoing process not a one-time event. Every day, we get to reset our focus and renew our thinking through God’s Word.

Setting your heart and mind on things above is an act of worship — it’s saying, “Lord, You have my attention. You direct my thoughts. You lead my desires.”

The Battle for the Mind

Let us be honest it is easy to let our thoughts settle into the dust of earthly thinking: worry, comparison, materialism, fear of man, or self-preservation. The world is loud. Screens, schedules, and headlines constantly shout for our attention.

But our faith will never soar if our thoughts remain tethered to the ground. Scripture calls us upward not into escapism, but into alignment with heaven. Romans 8:6 says, “The mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.”

When we think from a heavenly perspective, we do not ignore our responsibilities, but we simply see them differently. Every obstacle becomes an opportunity to reflect Christ. Every conversation becomes a chance to share His love. Every challenge becomes a place for His peace to rule.

A New Way to Live

Romans 6:4 declares, “Just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.” That new life is not just about behavior, it is about belief.

We start seeing through God’s lens. We remember that our worth is not tied to performance or appearance but is anchored in being “hidden with Christ in God.” You are not your past, your failure, you are in Christ, and He is your life. Check out Galatians 2:20 too!

That phrase changes everything: “Christ, who is your life.” Jesus is not just part of your life, He is your life. The more that truth roots itself in your heart, the more your mind shifts. You will see yourself through His eyes forgiven, chosen, and loved. And you will begin to see others not as interruptions or irritations, but as image-bearers of God’s grace.

Anchored in the Eternal

When you set your heart and mind on things above, peace begins to settle in. You anchor yourself to what is unchanging, holy, and eternal.

Earthly things, both the blessings and the burdens, are temporary. But things above? Those are forever: Love. Grace. Truth. Holiness. God’s promises.

These are the truths that stabilize your mind and direct your heart.

A Daily Reset

So today, before the world has a chance to fill your mind, you must set it yourself.

Before the worries come, before comparison creeps in, before distractions flood your day choose to lift your thoughts higher.

Let your prayer echo Romans 12:1–2:

“Lord, I offer my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to You. I refuse to conform to this world. Transform me by the renewing of my mind.”

Every time you set your heart and mind on Him, you are aligning with your true identity, the one raised, redeemed, and renewed in Christ.

Ask yourself What’s been setting the temperature of my thoughts lately? The world, or the Word?

Heaven is calling. Set your heart and mind there today. 💗

Obedience Wins Battles

Obedience is one of those words that makes us all a little uncomfortable. It means surrender, it means trust, and it often means walking forward when the outcome doesn’t make sense. Judges 20 tells a story that is both difficult and powerful. It is one that shows us obedience isn’t always about quick victories, but about faithfulness to God no matter what.

The story in Judges 20 begins with a shocking and tragic event. A woman is abused and killed, and her body is sent in pieces to the twelve tribes of Israel. The people are outraged and unite to confront the sin within the tribe of Benjamin. Israel goes to battle, but here’s the twist: even though God told them to go, they suffer heavy losses. There were 22,000 the first day, and 18,000 the second in losses.
It wasn’t because of hidden sin this time (like Achan at Ai in Joshua 7). We must be obedient regardless of the outcomes. Obedience is about trust. There are times that obedience does not look like an immediate victory. 

It’s easy to obey when you expect things to turn out well. It’s harder when obedience looks like defeat. That’s where faith grows. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego understood this when they stood before the fiery furnace and declared, “Our God is able to deliver us, but even if He doesn’t, we will not bow” (Daniel 3:17-18). Obedience is not tied to results. It’s tied to love. Jesus said, “If you love Me, keep My commandments” (John 14:15). Our obedience is the proof of our love.

Disobedience clutters our souls. It hides things away, leaving us restless and weak. But obedience clears the conscience, brings peace of mind, and strengthens our hearts. That’s why Samuel told Saul, “To obey is better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22). Saul tried to excuse his partial obedience, but God doesn’t bless our compromises. Partial obedience is disobedience. Saul may not have lost his position but he did lose the anointing. A Clear Conscience and a Strong Heart come from walking in Obedience to God’s Word. True obedience guards our hearts and minds. It keeps us aligned with God’s Word even when circumstances scream otherwise.

Obedience is never just about us. Abraham’s obedience to offer Isaac released blessings for generations (Genesis 22:18). Jonathan’s obedience to step out with his armor-bearer inspired a whole army to rise up (1 Samuel 14). (Go listen to my full sermon on this from Wednesday, August 20th at Covenant Church it dives into Jonathan’s story and how your story helps others)

Psalm 25 promises that if we fear the Lord, our soul will prosper and our descendants will inherit the land. Your “yes” to God influences your children, your grandchildren, and even the atmosphere around you. Your obedience today becomes the inheritance of tomorrow. 

So here is the question: Will you keep obeying when the results aren’t what you wanted? Will you get back up after a loss and ask God, “Do I go again?”

That’s what Israel did after two devastating defeats. On the third day, God gave them the victory. Obedience always pays off! If it does not pay off immediately, it will eternally! 

Rebellion says, “I want control.” Faith says, “Jesus, You are Lord.” We obey not because of what God can do for us, but because of who He is. Jesus is our Lord, our King, our Savior.

Don’t withdraw from the battle until the outcome is good. God’s Word is true. His promises are sure. And He is always worth our obedience. Your “yes” is a shout that echoes through eternity.

Fight for each other and not with each other!

Blurry Vision

When You’re Hurting, Your Vision Gets Blurry. Let Jesus Lead the Way

When you’re hurting, fearful, or frustrated, your view of reality becomes distorted. Like looking through a cracked lens or driving through foggy glass, everything seems off—even if it’s really not. Hurt warps interpretation. Fear clouds judgment. Frustration filters facts.

You begin hearing through the filter of your pain and speaking from the reservoir of your wounds. What you think someone said or meant is twisted by your internal turmoil. It’s not because you’re weak; it’s because you’re human. But this is the very moment when your soul needs clarity, not confirmation.

When pain rises, we tend to run. We run to distractions, to comfort food, to numbing behaviors, or to people who will agree with us rather than challenge us. But what if the escape isn’t out there? What if healing begins in stillness?

“Be still, and know that I am God…” – Psalm 46:10

It’s in the stillness that the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit can be heard. He whispers truth when everything else is shouting lies. But we have to want to hear Him. We have to invite Him in.

When you’re in pain, you can’t always trust your own interpretations. That’s when you must lean harder into the Word of God and the people of God—the ones who will lovingly speak truth, not just validate your emotions.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” – Jeremiah 17:9
“The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” – Proverbs 12:15

The truth is: most of the time, we don’t want Jesus until we feel like we need Him. We want Him to fix things, but not necessarily lead everything. But friend, we need Him for everything. And more than anything, He wants to be with us—invited, welcomed, central, and not just an emergency contact.

Let Jesus be your:

  • Peace in panic
  • Wisdom in confusion
  • Counselor in chaos
  • Voice when your emotions want to text or post something you’ll regret

Even when you’re self-sabotaging, He’s there saying, “Follow Me. Turn around. Be still. Get up.”

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’” – Isaiah 30:21

He is always present, but He permeates our lives when we give Him permission.

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in…” – Revelation 3:20
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5
“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” – Matthew 28:20

So if your vision is blurry today, if your heart is hurting or your mind is fearful—don’t trust your own interpretation. Don’t run to what numbs you. Run to the One who heals.

Jesus is near. Invite Him in. Ask the Holy Spirit to speak louder than the noise. And let the Word of God—not your wounds—determine what you believe, what you say, what you text, and what you do.

He’s not mad at you. He’s madly in love with you. And He’s with you—even in this.

Being a Safe Place and a sTrong Mother

On Mother’s Day this year I had the great honor of preaching with my mom. She has truly been a great example of a woman of God. I wanted to share some of my notes from that service plus things we did not talk about. She has taught me to be Word led and Spirit fed.

Proverbs 31:25-28 (NLT)

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. Her children stand and bless her.”

I. Mothers as a Safe Place

Scripture: Psalm 46:1 – “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Are you more concerned with being right or being safe? Kindness and thankfulness are the keys to success and peace. Learning to lead by faith. If we try to be controlling today it will cause chaos in the future.

• Just as God is a refuge, mothers often serve as the first safe place a child knows.

• A godly mother is not perfect, but she is present—offering comfort, wisdom, and grace.

• Her arms become a haven where scraped knees and broken hearts are mended.

II. Mothers as a Strong Foundation

Scripture: Isaiah 40:31 – “…those who trust in the Lord will find new strength…”

• A mother’s strength isn’t just physical—it’s spiritual and emotional.

• Her strength comes from her trust in God. She leans into Him so others can lean on her.

• A mother holds it all together, even when she feels like she’s falling apart.

Strength is not the absence of struggle—it’s the presence of God in the midst of it.

III. Mothers as Faithful Supporters

Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:5 – “I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice…”

• Timothy’s faith legacy began with his mother and grandmother.

• A mother doesn’t just raise a child—she sows a destiny.

• Her prayers go before her children, building a future they haven’t even walked into yet.

Moms, never underestimate your quiet faithfulness. Every prayer whispered, every hug given, every Scripture taught is kingdom work.

Numbers 6:24-26 – “The Lord bless you and keep you…”

Scripture: Exodus 2:1–10

Jochebed, the mother of Moses, is a beautiful example of a mother who was both strong and courageous in the face of danger. Pharaoh had issued a brutal order: every Hebrew baby boy was to be thrown into the Nile. But Jochebed chose faith over fear.

• She hid her baby for three months, knowing the risk to her own life.

• When she could no longer hide him, she crafted a basket, waterproofed it, and laid her child in the very river meant for his destruction.

• She entrusted her baby to the hands of God—and God gave Moses back to her through Pharaoh’s daughter.

Jochebed teaches us that strength doesn’t always look loud or dramatic. Sometimes strength looks like silent, strategic faith. She didn’t know what the future held, but she trusted the One who held it.

Like Jochebed, your decisions today—your prayers, your courage, your obedience—are shaping generations. When you let go in faith, God steps in with favor

IV. Mothers as a powerful sound

Scripture: Proverbs 18:21 – “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Mothers carry a sacred influence with their words. A mother’s voice is often the first voice a child hears, and it becomes the internal voice they carry for a lifetime. Your words can become the soundtrack to their self-worth, faith, and courage. You can also determine the cycle that your children are use to living in by your words- Critics or Cheerleaders? Are you speaking the Word or your feelings, labels, opinions, etc…?

• When you say, “I believe in you,” you’re planting seeds of confidence.

• When you say, “God has a purpose for your life,” you’re shaping their destiny.

• But harsh, angry, or careless words can wound deeper than we realize—and those wounds can echo into adulthood. Critical words don’t create strong positive connections.

Think about Timothy in the New Testament—he became a young pastor, but the roots of his faith were watered by his mother and grandmother’s sincere, faithful instruction. Their words formed the foundation of his calling.

Speak life. Speak promise. Speak the Word of God over your children, even when they’re not acting like it. Your words have the power to call out the best in them and remind them of who they are—and Whose they are.

“Your words are not just heard—they are absorbed. Every word and sentence you speak has the power to shape a soul.”

To all the mothers—biological, spiritual, adoptive, and mentor moms—thank you. You reflect God’s heart. You are the hands of grace, the voice of wisdom, the strength in storms, and the arms of comfort.

Forget about it

Here is some truth for you. What really matters is that you obey Father God. This is the key to living the blessed life, walking in freedom, finding your true identity, and having His power and authority. Your own opinion and reputation doesn’t count, so forget about those things and focus on Jesus. We delay our divine destiny and victories by walking in disobedience, and partial obedience is still disobedience. We have been made more than conquerors. If you read your Bible, which I highly recommend, then you will realize that since the world began Father God has been looking for those that live by faith and obey His Word. These two things are how you live the abundant life now. Your life will become a walking billboard of His mercy, love, grace and power. You must realize that you are a billboard already. The question is what does your billboard promote? Just like He wanted to lead the children of Israel into the promise land, He still wants that for you today. The issue is that we as people have not changed much and the same things that kept them from having promise land living stop us now. They dealt with unbelief just like we do. Yes, I know if you are reading this that you believe in God most likely. The Israelites believed in God and had seen Him do signs and wonders with their very own eyes. They believed in Him, but they did not really believe what Father God said. When He told them about the Promise Land and that He would give it to them (Exodus 23), they became afraid and doubted. If they truly believed God it would not have mattered how big the giants were, they would have obeyed His Word. Unbelief makes you refuse to do what the Word of God says! This unbelief always leads to disobedience. We begin to try to figure things out on our own instead of trusting His Word. I am personally thankful that God doesn’t require me to be smart, He just ask for us to listen and obey. Just know today that when God calls you to do something, He is with you! You have to forget about what culture says, your feelings say, others say- and only remember what God says. You are anointed for this time!