Author: Allison Bramlett

Did you know that what we say only accounts for 7 percent of what is really believed? The way we communicate it accounts for about 38 percent (tone and timing). That means that 55 percent is based on what others see. That means the statement is true, “actions speak louder than words”. This means that 90 percent of what we actually say is not conveyed. So how do we truly communicate and have real connection. This is something that I am constantly working on.

I know connecting helps in every area of life! True communication is genuine connection. Here are some keys to connecting: •go the extra mile- be intentional •exchange appreciation with expectation •be vulnerable•share enjoyable experiences that refresh •give energy that recharges- positive partners•set vision and synergy•be love-unconditional. When connecting if you see some of these keys then you are on the path to success.

In real connection people know that you care for them. Really stop and think of experiences you have had in your own life with connection. Do you see a common thread? I would bet that you felt cared for by the person or people in those moments. What is so beautiful about this is we have the ability to grow beyond our personal circles and care for others. When we learn to truly care about others we can then connect with them.

People want to be encouraged and helped. When we learn to help others we truly help ourselves. This is real connection. It is wonderful to know that when we help others go to new levels, they lift us up too. I challenge you to look for people to help today. Recently I was in the grocery store and had two buggies full of groceries. I was thinking how am I going to get this to the car. Then two young men from our youth group at church appeared and helped me out. I was so thankful. As I began to put my purse in the car I saw some cash. This alone was a miracle because I rarely have cash on me. I felt prompted by Holy Spirit to give it to them. I am believing that from this experience they will see the benefit of focusing on helping others.

When someone really connects they know that they can be vulnerable. They know that they are unconditionally loved. Real connection is full of trust! The other person feels seen and valued. Listening with your heart to hear their heart.

In my own life there are times that I have felt that I really connected and other times where I have really failed. In both, my heart was for others to experience the love of God. I am thankful that we are all growing and learning together. And I hope to continually grow as a connector. Remember your words may be heard but your attitude is always felt. Philippians 2:5 says, “Let this same attitude and purpose and humble mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus.” I am working to have the attitude of Jesus all the time.

It takes energy and intentionality to connect and have the right attitude. You have to bring it every time to have real connection. This means jump first- (smile first, make eye contact, speak kindly, take a step toward others and not away….) Malcom Bane says, “if you wait until you can do everything for everybody, instead of something for somebody, you’ll end up not doing anything for anybody.” So, if you want to have connection then go first!

It all takes selflessness. GIVE REAL CONNECTION! This is not always easy in hard situations, but it is possible. It is a choice to be a giver and not a taker. When you are a giver then you are a grower. Giving brings life. Takers communicate out of need, insecurity and ego. They are always needing attention and praise. Givers communicate out of love, compassion, passion and overflow. We have the choice to be either. I declare today that you are a giver!

These are questions I constantly ask myself: Did I do my best in that situation? Did I understand and relate? Did I add value to the other person? Did I give hope and faith? Did I help them know that they are loved? Did I make a difference for eternity? Did I Give?

Let me know how your Connection Giving is going. I believe we are growing together in Connection!

Resting is not easy for me! One of my favorite scriptures is “Be still, and know that I am God…” Psalms 46:10 KJV I like to quote it but practicing it is not so easy.

I have had to practice being still. I believe rest is becoming a lost thing in our busy culture.

We’ve exchanged being still and resting for a hectic and fast-paced speed of life. Each 24-hour time span is packed with a number of tasks we’ve placed on ourselves and then a few extra task from others. When we do not take time to reset and refresh we get fatigued, fearful, frantic and frustrated.

We have to make a choice to rest!

Jesus tells His disciples this, ‘Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.’” Mark 6:31

Jesus knew when He sent us out to share the Gospel that our assignment and journey would not be easy. He knew that we just like the disciples would have difficult times and relationship issues. He knew that we would face discouragement and obstacles.

Yes- just like the disciples we have been empowered by Holy Spirit to preach, spread the Goodnews, represent the Kingdom of Heaven, heal, set captives free- But we also have to deal with exhaustion physically, emotionally and spiritually. It says in Mark that even after finally coming back home from journey, people would still be “coming and going,” enough that the disciples “did not even have time to eat” (v. 31b).

Jesus reminds us to rest. And He doesn’t just remind He request. It was Jesus’ command. He knows what the disciples were doing. And there is much more that remains to do. He says this to me and you too. But there are times He says for now come and rest. Maybe just for a second- but catch your breath and let me refresh you.

I know that I have felt guilty for taking time away to regroup and recharge in the past.

But I hear the voice of my first love, Savior- King Jesus calling me away for some rest time. Inviting me into a place where grace flows, where the Spirit refuels, and where mercy fixes what’s been fatigued, frustrated and stressed. It is the place where He repairs, refreshes, refuels, restores and relaunches me.

This quiet time is a wise investment for me. It is necessary for the diligent and committed, active servants and followers of Jesus to be still. When I prioritize rest for myself and those I love, I rediscover joy and gain strength.

So recently one of my dear friends and I went for a time of rest. We prayed, read, listened, shared, slept, laughed- we were still! I was refreshed. I was recharged! I had a wonderful reset! I am hoping that you get to grab a daily cup of coffee with Jesus and rest with Him! Oh it is such a sweet time ❤️☕️

Peace of the Home! Many years ago my dear friend and faith family- Cheryl Salem began sharing with me about the importance of words in Hebrew. She and Uncle Harry also helped ordain me into ministry and have been faithful friends and mentors.

Many of you know that Jeff and I have a miracle marriage and the meaning of Shalom Bayit speaks volumes to me. I learned to fight for my family and not with my family.

Here is the meaning: from Wikipedia- Shalom bayit[1] (Hebrew: שְׁלוֹם בַּיִת, lit. peace of the home) (also sholom bayit or shlom bayit, or (Yiddish) sholom bayis or shlom bayis) is the Jewish religious concept of domestic harmony and good relations between husband and wife. In a Jewish court of law, shalom bayit is the Hebrew term for marital reconciliation.[2]

A dear friend, Cassidy reminded me of this phrase recently. It made me begin to think how in the English language “I love you” is more of an expression of feeling deep on the inside of me. It’s all about me. All about the way I feel.

But if I say those same words in Hebrew, the meaning is different. The word “love” in Hebrew shares the same root as the verb: to bring. This means love is not a feeling but an action. So loving requires me to take action. “I love you,” literally translates in Hebrew as “I bring you,” or “I bring to you.” That means love is really not about me but it is about the other person. All about what I can give.

When I read the words Shalom Bayit it challenges me to be love in action. It challenges me to bring Father God’s love to others. And at home- First with my husband!

Shalom means “peace” and a bayit is a “home.” Maintaining peace in one’s home, shalom bayit. In Hebrew marriage between man and wife is seen as a manifestation of Father God’s relationship with His church. And He definitely put love in action- John 3:16.

We have to fight for love! As couples when we encounter storms during our walk together the key ingredient to a smooth journey is our attitude of love in action. We miss have an absolute determination and resolve to stay in love!

Marriage comes with bumps and sometimes mountains, and sometimes cliffs, and sometimes ocean views. Father God has given His love to us so it can flow through us- we are equipped to handle the journey! And it is important to keep the fire 🔥 an everlasting flame of Love ❤️.

Marriage is not just a relationship of a man and a woman, but a three-way relationship that must include God as well. Actually He is the center of it all! I remember Aunt Cheryl talking about the Hebrew meaning of man and woman many years ago- it stuck with me.

I learned that the Hebrew word for man, ish, is the same as the Hebrew word for woman, isha, with the exception of one letter in each word. The word for man has a “yud” and the word for woman has a “hei,” which are the two letters that represent God’s name. The letters that they share in common spell aish, fire. The idea is that a man and woman together are like a fire. And How do you keep your fire on so that it can illuminate? You keep God in the center!

If you feel burnt out, cold or maybe like a flicker- don’t quit! Don’t go on the feeling of love but put love in action. Put Father God in the center! Let your marriage illuminate God’s love! Let your life be a lighthouse of love!

““So I give you now a new commandment: Love each other just as much as I have loved you. For when you demonstrate the same love I have for you by loving one another, everyone will know that you’re my true followers.”” John 13:34-35 TPT

And a big shout out to my soul sister- Laura for the Shalom Bayit picture

Your gift may get you in the room but your character will keep you there- Gregory Pope

My parents have always taught me that gifts get you in the room but it takes much more to keep you there. It takes cultivating the fruit of the Spirit in your life. They have also taught me that the anointing is the atmosphere changer. The anointing sets you apart, breaks yokes and bondages, removes burdens, brings overflow, empowers and moves you into the supernatural.

Let Father God shape you into the image of Christ today! Walk in the anointing! Be Spirit led in and Word fed.

I know today that if you are not hungry for the things of God it is because you are full of self. It is time to get over ourselves and let Love get in us and flow through us!

Leviticus 2:1 – ‘When anyone offers a grain offering to the Lord, his offering shall be of fine flour. And he shall pour oil on it, and put frankincense on it.” This grain offering represents Jesus being anointed by Holy Spirit.

We know Jesus is fully God. But when He came to earth, He literally emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant (Philippians 2:7). Because of this human form He needed to anointed by Holy Spirit so His ministry could begin. (John 1:33). Jesus being fully God operated and did things by the power of Holy Spirit.

Jesus was anointed to bring the blessings of God into the lives of people. You are anointed to do the same! “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor” (Luke 4:18).

Jesus’ anointing is yours too (1 John 2:20). The Bible says that “the anointing which you have received from Him abides in you” (1 John 2:27).

When we call on the name of Jesus, we are releasing His anointing! Just say, “Jesus, Jesus.”

And remember the same Spirit that raised Jesus now lives in you!

“And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit, who lives in you.”Romans 8:11 AMP

Staying in love is a choice. Many years ago we realized that we were not dating each other. Yes, married couples should still date each other. Always date your spouse so that they know they are a priority to you. Even if you are super busy- have lots of pressure- lots of kids- make the time! Obviously there are things that take up our time – good things but we must always make special time for each other.

Date nights improve marriages. Studies have proven this- my own life has proven this- but don’t take our word on it- try it! Couples who go on frequent dates have an increase in happiness, commitment, communication, parenthood stability, and community. Studies say that married couples who devote time together at least once a week not only have lower divorce rates, but also increase the quality of their marriage. This should make you want to start dating your spouse more!

By opening up to each other on dates, spouses build strong bonds and begin talking heart to heart instead of hurt to hurt. This is important because every relationship has hard times but safe communication and strong commitment help us weather the storms. You are able to support each other and cheer each other on. These times of communication build a stronger emotional bond. “Two are better than one because they have a more satisfying return for their labor; for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and does not have another to lift him up.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 AMP

Date nights are stress relievers. Date nights should be fun! Your spouse isn’t just there for you for the tough times, but for enjoyable times too. Relax together. Laugh together. Enjoy each other. Make memories together. You will never regret taking time for each other.

Date night is a fantastic way of connecting positively and enjoying each other’s company on a regular basis. It doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate. You can have at home dates, fast food dates, picnics, strolling dates…. the list goes on. It is about spending time with each other- listening to each other’s heart. Really seeing each other!

When a couple spends time alone each week, their levels of happiness, joy, communication and even sexual satisfaction are more than three times higher than those who don’t spend that time together. WOW! That means you might be able to dramatically increase these important areas of your marriage by simply dating each other.

We personally try to date once a week. We also try to out spoil and serve each other everyday. This is not work but a beautiful investment.

The key to a great date is to make sure you focus on each other — don’t have conversations about finances, household responsibilities, problems with the kids or sensitive issues. Yes, you need to talk about these things, but not during a date. Date night is about enjoying each other.

A great date night will be full of playfulness and laughter. Ask your spouse questions to update your knowledge of then. Reminisce by retelling some of your favorite dating and marriage stories. Talking about your memorable events allows you to celebrate how far you’ve come as a couple. Focusing on first love with each other. It also helps you stay faith focused for your future together.

Why not take our Date Night Challenge? Go out on three dates in three weeks and watch how this will strengthen your marriage! By dating on a regular basis, your will be strengthened. Also, remember love never fails!

“Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. Love never stops loving…” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 TPT